[procaare] Re: HIV Testing Before Marriage (7-9)

["Liundi, Murahwi & Scaletta" <procaare@healthnet.org>]

Re: HIV Testing Before Marriage (7-9)
7. Taji Liundi, Tanzania 
8. Joseph Scaletta, USA 
9. Shepherd Murahwi, Zimbabwe 
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Re: HIV Testing Before Marriage (7)

My thoughts, 

Testing before marriage should be viewed as a positive starting point in a couples? life.

Let's be honest, testing does create a form of self deterrence, this should be viewed positively. 

The reasons why people cheat are never seen as important intervention issues. If we can say that over 90% of our people KNOW or have basic knowledge about HIV/AIDS, why is it that we see very slight behavioral changes?

Why miss an opportunity to create (not enforce) another form of self deterrence? In these extreme times we need to embrace or adopt any new effective (even for a period of time) methods against our wanton human nature.

An example: if a wife suspects her husband is cheating, she needs to confront him and herself!
  She needs to make her suspicions felt, she needs to be heard, her fears, worries and feelings.
  She needs to be assured, needs self assurance most of all and should rightfully propose the couple go for a test(s).
  She should rightfully demand that the husband accept they use condoms.
  I feel this empowers the woman. It will also empower the man to appreciate their health and relationship.
   
What do you think?
   
Taji Liundi
Commissioner
Tanzania Aids Commission
Email: tgliundi@yahoo.com

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Re: HIV Testing Before Marriage (8)

As a HIV case manager, you have no idea how many times I've heard the statement "but I trusted him/her" after giving positive test results.  Just because you may "trust" someone does NOT make their germs go away.  

I am not necessarily saying that testing SHOULD occur prior to marriage, but the basis of this argument will not be found in trust alone.

I would encourage you to keep some of your judgmental opinions in check prior to posting and rather focus on the science and policy issues of this list serve. 

Joseph Scaletta 
Email: JScaletta@dhmh.state.md.us 

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Re: HIV Testing Before Marriage (9)

Dear Gabo

Am sorry to say Gabo, I need a whole day to discuss with you and help you have a better insight into the delicate intricacies around HIV transmission and developing AIDS. Let me put it simply from the way it?s normally advertised on transmission that: anyone exposed to the virus irregardless of religion, age, sex, colour, race or creed can be infected and can later develop AIDS. 

You further need to know that getting tested may have nothing to do with trust, mistrust, faithfulness or unfaithfulness because what you are after is to find out whether you are carrying the virus or not and then make an informed decision. One can have as much trust and faith in their partner, and can be as faithful trustworthy but it does not guarantee them of not having the virus (for as long as they have a sexually intimate past or once got into a risky situation) nor does it stop them from being infected if exposed. Being honest and faithful is very individual based and it is only the individual that knows best whether they are being faithful, honest or not. All of us have a past which in many cases is 100% confidential especially if it is a bad past that we would quickly want to forget eg. having had sex for fun or having been raped or fooled by friends or boy/girlfriend. This past remains a lifetime confidential issue for as long as we are not experiencing problems related to this.  I might even decide to be honest or faithful after a horrible past, but the future still holds something for me and this something has a direct bearing on my HIV status and my unavoidable realistic HIV status is currently determined by my past and the the present. 

Gabo it therefore implies that for as long as you do not know the HIV status of your partner even if you are married, the choice to take a risk by having unprotected sex is yours, because being married, young, old, ugly, beautiful, black or white, faithful, priest, widow, widower, nun, African, European, Christian, Moslem, Hindu, bank manager is not a direct verification of your HIV status nor does it give you assurance of not being infected, because once exposed you are highly likely to get infected. You could be any of the above but still carrying the virus knowingly or unknowingly.  It further does not imply then that you are to blame nor do you have to blame others because the whole issue around getting infected is very complex in the sense that so many innocent people have been infected and some have even died. 

Gabo we are not saying ones' HIV status is the ticket to a relationship or marriage, but we want to say knowing your partner's and your status especially before marriage, will help you make an informed decision not only on whether you need to continue with the relationship, then later marriage, but also having children and knowing how to manage yourselves positively for your own good and that of others. The fact that everyone has a right to good health, expression and association also entails us to be a bit more conscious when we get into relationships and the best is to be fair, its not a question of being trustworthy, faithful or honest for now but even for the future and but all the same before committing oneself how much do we understand about the past of our partners as this has a direct bearing on our future especially our past sexual behaviours because its just not fair not to be honest to your partner about your past after all. For all young women and men out there, be warned as you cannot bank on the current faithfulness and trust to determine ones HIV status.

Whilst vulnerability and susceptibility to HIV infection is very much determined by our behaviours especially the sexual one, we also need to know that being a bad person does not imply carrying the virus and conversely being a very good person in all earnest does not imply being negative.

Shepherd Murahwi

CAFOD- HIV and AIDS Programme Support Officer
Southern Africa, Harare, Zimbabwe
Email: smurahwi@cafod.org.zw